WARNING: Do Not Sneeze And Put Your Hands In Hunter Burgan's Mouth

If Hunter Burgan (bass guitarist) of AFI is a stranger to you, then you have not been hanging out on Buzznet enough. But, we do find Hunter interesting enough to take you Behind Closed Doors with him, so now is your opportunity to learn about his fetishes, pet-peeves and first kiss.

Photo by Jason Odell

Buzznet: Do you have a morning bathroom routine?

Hunter: When I wake up, I like to play The Clash's "Sandinista!" side three while I hop into the shower. Showering is easy because I can use shower gel for my head AND body. After I'm dry, I moisturize, apply deodorant and then put on my clothes. Only after I have my shoes on do I brush and floss. Sometimes I run 5 kilometers before the shower.

Buzznet: Who was your first kiss?

Hunter: Her name was Jamie and I was in third grade. I was sitting in line waiting for the bus after school when she asked me to stand up. Then, to my embarrassment, she kissed me in front of the whole school. It was many years before I would kiss again.

Buzznet: What do you have hanging on your walls in your bedroom? Posters? Artwork?

Hunter: I have only one painting in my bedroom. It was painted by my friend Heather Gabel and depicts a woman carrying a baby in her mouth.

Buzznet:  Do you have any fetishes? Any pet-peeves?

Hunter: I hate it when people sneeze into their hands and then place them inside my mouth. I also hate being stabbed to death...that's a pet peeve of mine.

Buzznet: What is the first quality you look for in the opposite sex?

Hunter: The first thing I look for is eyes. If a girl doesn't have eyes, it's a no-go. (my apologies to all the girls reading this without eyes)

Buzznet: What do you wear to sleep at night?

Hunter: I wear underwear or "old man" pajamas if it's cold. 

Buzznet: Do you have a nickname?

Hunter: H-Burgz, HB, or just Human.   

Buzznet: What was your first job? What was your worst job?

Hunter: My first job was loading bullets into tubes when I was 12 or 13. After work I would walk down the block and spend my pay on soft serve. My worst job was washing dishes at a restaurant with singing waitstaff. I got food poisoning from eating their food while I was working.

Buzznet: If you could be in the Summer Olympics which sport would you compete in? Any why? 

Hunter: Summer lovin'. Is that a category? If not, I would do the horse (gymnastics) or triple jump. If possible, I'd like to do the triple jump on the back of a horse. Is there a horseback synchronized swimming category?

Buzznet: What song do you know every word to, but are totally embarrassed that you know so well?

Hunter: I'm not embarrassed to know the words to Freedom Williams' rap in C+C Music Factory's "Gonna Make You Sweat (Everybody Dance Now)" or all of Milli Vanilli's album, "Girl You Know It's True" because I also know every word on Snoop Doggy Dogg's "Doggystyle" and that gives me street cred.

Buzznet: What text message or voicemail do you regret sending to someone so much that you will never forget doing it? Who was the person?

Hunter: I have no regrets when it comes to texts or voicemail. I have sent a few drunken faxes though. (the faxes were drunk, not me)

Buzznet: Which era do you most wish you lived in and why?

Hunter: I'm happy to be alive now and not in the 1310s during the great famine. Sometimes I wish I lived in 1965, 1982 or 2019. Sometimes I feel like I was born too late, and yet other times I feel like I was made for the future.

Buzznet:  Do you have any scars? If so what happened?

Hunter: Most of my scars are from getting too crazy on stage. I have a couple nice ones on my head that required stitches.

Buzznet: If we gave you sourdough bread and you could put anything on your sandwich what would it be?

Hunter: It would be very thoughtful of you. Thanks! (I might melt some vegan cheese on it, or maybe marinara sauce if you didn't give me vegan cheese.)

Buzznet: When you hear the word “oatmeal” what is the very first thing that comes to your mind?

Hunter: Oatmeal is one of my favorite inventions. I've actually considered getting an oatmeal tattoo many times, so that is what I think of.

Hunter Burgan is not your average blogger. If you found him entertaining Behind Closed Doors after reading this interview, then be sure to check out his weekly feature Analyze This ...

You can also catch Hunter on tour with his band AFI this fall.

AFI FALL 2009 U.S. DATES:
10/02/09 - Minneapolis, MN - Epic
10/04/09 - Columbus, OH - Newport Music Hall
10/05/09 - Cincinnati, OH - Bogarts
10/07/09 - Buffalo, NY - Town Ballroom
10/08/09 - Clifton Park, NY - Northern Lights
10/10/09 - Sayreville, NJ - Starland Ballroom
10/11/09 - Pittsburgh, PA - Club Zoo
10/13/09 - Hartford, CT - The Webster
10/14/09 - Providence, RI - Lupos Heartbreak Hotel
10/16/09 - Rochester, NY - Water Street Music Hall
10/17/09 - Hampton Beach, NH - Hampton Beach Casino Ballroom
10/19/09 - Richmond, VA - The National
10/21/09 - Scranton, PA - Scranton Cultural Center
10/25/09 - Boston, MA - House of Blues

Their album Crash Love hit stores on 9/29/09.